tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post855100834862520826..comments2024-02-22T07:47:22.661-05:00Comments on The Bathroom Monologues: Bathroom Monologue: The More Dangerous GameJohn Wiswellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-52717715237004604502010-06-06T18:06:40.043-04:002010-06-06T18:06:40.043-04:00This is one quirky couple John. The dialogue betwe...This is one quirky couple John. The dialogue between them works well.<br /><br />Samurai chimps got a bark-laugh out of me. I want the rest of that story.Donald Conradhttp://flashtold.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-53372806486773367912010-06-06T11:52:35.857-04:002010-06-06T11:52:35.857-04:00Hmmm my understanding of that was that the wife WA...Hmmm my understanding of that was that the wife WAS going to be #1, but the twist was that she was planning to hunt the husband as well.<br /><br />I might be completely wrong in that but enjoyed it none the less, very original with plenty of dark humour!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-57168000492754564032010-06-06T06:18:08.894-04:002010-06-06T06:18:08.894-04:00D-I-V-O-R-C-E!
Just twigged it before the reveal,...D-I-V-O-R-C-E!<br /><br />Just twigged it before the reveal, but it was excellently rendered. The concept of hunting humans was unsettling in my mind each time it was in the text - nice workSulci Collectivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-1153294942504843472010-06-06T01:50:18.890-04:002010-06-06T01:50:18.890-04:00Oh, nicely done! Left us hanging with no clue what...Oh, nicely done! Left us hanging with no clue what number one might be!<br /><br />Brilliant work! BRILLIANT!<br /><br />I'm with Eric -- where's that list?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-9977855112543567332010-06-05T08:08:23.102-04:002010-06-05T08:08:23.102-04:00Loved the story, John. I don't care what #1 is...Loved the story, John. I don't care what #1 is either. It's the anticipation and being left to draw one's own conclusion...and the fact that his wife's 'icicle' has melted ands a certain tension. Loved the image of the monkeys weilding samurai swords as well...Alan W. Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17067022519729701245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-91271274188403874532010-06-05T06:57:15.447-04:002010-06-05T06:57:15.447-04:00Great build up, John. Another enjoyable story. S...Great build up, John. Another enjoyable story. Sometimes it's fun to leave everyone guessing. :)Danielle La Pagliahttp://daniellelapaglia.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-10172792874345367352010-06-04T21:41:57.830-04:002010-06-04T21:41:57.830-04:00Not a couple I'd want to go on vacation with. ...Not a couple I'd want to go on vacation with. Weird, funny flash.Pamila Paynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14398900249578356483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-8483262055456350082010-06-04T19:12:13.496-04:002010-06-04T19:12:13.496-04:00Bit of weird comment I know, but I do love the lin...Bit of weird comment I know, but I do love the line spacing makes it really easy and engaging to readAdam John Keeperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05954915030178318057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-81173220358880557312010-06-04T17:12:22.978-04:002010-06-04T17:12:22.978-04:00Great story, so many great and funny lines. You c...Great story, so many great and funny lines. You can tell these two really love/hate each other. I kept thinking that the wife was #1, but it doesn't matter. It was just good fun to read. ~ OliviaOlivia Tejedahttp://OliviaTejeda.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-90678493296795063062010-06-04T16:47:32.592-04:002010-06-04T16:47:32.592-04:00Sorry to the people who are cross for #1 not being...Sorry to the people who are cross for #1 not being revealed. I'd much rather have your guesses, though!<br /><br />T.S., I'm glad the new ending is clearer to you. That's a relief.<br /><br />Deanna, you're right. I can't force you to think she isn't #1. If you want her to be the hunted, you go right ahead. But she appears to have a leg up right now.<br /><br />Joanie, I love your ideas for what #1 is.John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-8671001159594906552010-06-04T15:04:06.109-04:002010-06-04T15:04:06.109-04:00Who's to say the wife isn't #1, and she...Who's to say the wife isn't #1, and she's just smart enough to keep him distracted enough to forget that, huh? Or is my mind just all kinds of warped? Rhetorical question folks. <br /><br />Great, fun story John!Deanna Schrayerhttp://http//:theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-85487723655396794742010-06-04T13:56:59.570-04:002010-06-04T13:56:59.570-04:00Great story, John. Don't change a thing. I lov...Great story, John. Don't change a thing. I love stories where certain things are left to the reader's imagination. It's a sign of Really Good Fiction in my book.<br /><br />Lots of layers here. Excellent work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-64499486331092952892010-06-04T12:49:55.425-04:002010-06-04T12:49:55.425-04:00There are so many great and ridiculous ideas in th...There are so many great and ridiculous ideas in this one. And I love that you never really said what #1 was. :)Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01425418200940737247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-11642143358623342822010-06-04T12:31:44.630-04:002010-06-04T12:31:44.630-04:00Terrific story! I loved the buildup and ambiguity ...Terrific story! I loved the buildup and ambiguity at the end.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-14042742195862240432010-06-04T12:20:49.748-04:002010-06-04T12:20:49.748-04:00The new ending makes it much clearer. Like the oth...The new ending makes it much clearer. Like the others mentioned, you know how to keep us in suspense! That the wife was #1 originally crossed my mind, but I'm glad it's not :)Tessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08377570668333453073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-21681294388251921812010-06-04T12:12:15.695-04:002010-06-04T12:12:15.695-04:00Oh man!! No fair not telling us!! Great story.Oh man!! No fair not telling us!! Great story.V.R. Leavitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04695046154516205907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-77887114730896125332010-06-04T11:56:47.570-04:002010-06-04T11:56:47.570-04:00Very well done. I was also wanting for THE WIFE t...Very well done. I was also wanting for THE WIFE to be number one...LOL. Great read!<br /><br />-TimTimothy P. Remphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04422296532550497806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-29608306413928429452010-06-04T11:53:46.654-04:002010-06-04T11:53:46.654-04:00The pacing here is great! You've got our atten...The pacing here is great! You've got our attention with the list. I'm left with a lot of questions. I can't think of a good number 1 except maybe DEATH or something. Maybe it's God!? I have no idea. I want it to be velociraptors and you have to hunt them blindfolded! LOL! :)Joanie Richhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09923353641823849082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-32857547749513565652010-06-04T11:37:36.734-04:002010-06-04T11:37:36.734-04:00Weird and left me wondering. I guess that's ok...Weird and left me wondering. I guess that's okay. <br />Your wording is as always awesome.Carrie Clevengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05093923008179106837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-25476682066554455862010-06-04T11:27:02.948-04:002010-06-04T11:27:02.948-04:00Neat take on a story I remember loving when I was ...Neat take on a story I remember loving when I was a kid. I want the whole list, too. :P Nice work!Stinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07479342767111654357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-39090725897865083992010-06-04T11:07:19.359-04:002010-06-04T11:07:19.359-04:00I like that you left their humanity up to the read...I like that you left their humanity up to the reader. It puts a necessary barrier up--for me at least--between the inhumane acts they're discussing and being a human. Does that make sense? One I'll be thinking about for a while!shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17063218369150683990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-37646758093711110262010-06-04T10:22:09.842-04:002010-06-04T10:22:09.842-04:00Thank you all for the kind words!
Eric, I'm g...Thank you all for the kind words!<br /><br />Eric, I'm glad you liked that. I was worried the line was too much, but couldn't bear to cut it.<br /><br />Linda, #1 is not Big Foot. He's a pansy who keeps hiding - from everyone.<br /><br />Mazz, I guarantee #1 is not the wife. That'd just be rude.<br /><br />GP, I expanded the ending at the last minute because people didn't 'get it.' I also don't like that sentence. If more people find it unnecessary, I'll definitely cut it.<br /><br />Ganymeder, are they human? I don't want to say. I tried to go light on description, and halfway through I realized the light-description might allow for a neat trick. Like what #1 is, their humanity is up to the reader.John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-14072325289328838002010-06-04T10:20:30.387-04:002010-06-04T10:20:30.387-04:00Well you certainly are keeping the blindfolds on u...Well you certainly are keeping the blindfolds on us!<br /><br />Doesn't really matter what #1 is. The story is funny, wonderful, and quite enjoyable. :)Marisa Birnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945909737147497606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-74675568085844036712010-06-04T09:58:37.060-04:002010-06-04T09:58:37.060-04:00Weird and interesting tale. I'm wondering if t...Weird and interesting tale. I'm wondering if they're human too or not? Also, I followed the dialogue eagerly even though hunters don't really get my sympathy. I was wondering if they was going to turn karmic at some point or maybe Howard was hunting her- that would be quite the surprise! <br /><br />You did a great job of drawing the reader along for the ride. Nicely done.Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-71850192465812634852010-06-04T08:42:50.177-04:002010-06-04T08:42:50.177-04:00I enjoyed this and laughed out loud several times....I enjoyed this and laughed out loud several times. Loved the "icicle" and the dialogue. I was expecting #1 to be an angry wife too. It's not important to the story, so take it or leave it, but I'm not sure about the second to last sentence. Sounds like she has him by the balls-literally. Maybe you wanted it that way. They do seem like a rough couple!Genevieve Jackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16178276724159826428noreply@blogger.com