Three conventions in five weekends was a great pleasure, but
also exhausting! Though I'm working on a long breakdown post of 4th Street, Readercon,
and Otakon, I compiled a few tips to
share on con-going. These things stuck out from con-to-con, and I think could
help us all have a better time when we nerds congregate. Consider, and thanks
for reading!
Instead of:
interrupting the panelists with what you think are insightful comments...
Try this: ...spend
this time writing down your question so that, when the panel opens to audience interaction,
you have something clear to say and don't ramble. People will remember a succinct
question.
Instead of:
walking ten feet outside the panel room and continuing your conversation in the
middle of the hall, blocking everyone else trying to get to their next destination...
Try this:
...invite your chat-buddy to an empty row of seats, or the bar or cafe, or to
walk out of the hall and find a nook elsewhere that won't block traffic. Then
talk to them for as long as you like as everyone else passes.
Instead of:
disappearing immediately after the panel you were on...
Try this: ...look
around to see if any panelists or audience members are waiting for a word with you.
If you don't the time or mental bandwidth, excuse yourself for now, but offer
to chat later in the con, or hand out cards with contact information.
Instead of:
avoiding actors/writers/artists you love because even though this is the only
weekend all year you could possibly see them, you're nervous...
Try this: ...tell
them. Practice one-sentence praise if that's all your introversion allows. You
can't fathom how much even one sentence in passing encourages creative people.
Instead of:
touching anyone without permission, no matter how they are dressed, or how
funny you think it is...
Try this: ...ask
them. If it feels wrong to ask, then just don't make physical contact.
Instead of: only talking
to your friends for the entire convention and then complaining that you never
see young people at conventions...
Try this:
...invite new strangers to chat. It can be one-on-one, or you can invite them
to sit with your group in the lobby or con suite. We all know how hard it can
be when you're new and alone at a convention. Look outside your social pod for
people you can include.
Instead of:
putting up with unwanted attention that the other person won't stop, no matter
how minor or major it is...
Try this:
...report the offending party to con staff. Codes of Conduct are becoming more
common for good reasons. And if you feel uncomfortable extracting yourself,
grab an ally. Even if you don't know me, just saying, "Excuse me, that
person is making me feel unsafe," will be enough to get me to hang out
with you until you're clear of the offending party. I'm serious.
There's at least one alliance of people who will do that
same service for anyone feeling uncomfortable towards another con-goer, but I
can't find the name. If you know it, please link it in the comments, and I'll
add it here.
None of the above is that hard, right? Yet it slipped the
minds of so many people across the three conventions that it seemed worth
writing down.