tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post386899551521207671..comments2024-02-22T07:47:22.661-05:00Comments on The Bathroom Monologues: Bathroom Monologue: He Wasn't ReadyJohn Wiswellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-66837130488710772642011-05-23T17:16:46.468-04:002011-05-23T17:16:46.468-04:00Wowsies, that hit the mark on so many levels. Funn...Wowsies, that hit the mark on so many levels. Funny and heartbreaking all at the same time. Completely human and real and unbelievable at the same time. I agree with max Cantor on the SMS. Absolutely perfect finish.EZEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01607094958341579662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-83785707213687309942011-05-04T07:50:00.186-04:002011-05-04T07:50:00.186-04:00That last line elicits so many reactions, but it i...That last line elicits so many reactions, but it is absolutely perfect to finish this piece.<br />Brilliant.<br />Adam B @revhappinessAdam Bhttp://afullnessinbrevity.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-39616616523064646262011-05-02T11:15:16.057-04:002011-05-02T11:15:16.057-04:00Catherine/Ganymeder, wow, thanks! It's so surp...Catherine/Ganymeder, wow, thanks! It's so surprising to get people claiming this is one of my best. It's definitely elicited high reactions.<br /><br />Brainhaze, thanks so much for the praise and the retweet. I'm glad you enjoyed this so much. Are you doing a #fridayflash next week?<br /><br />Deb, thanks for returning to clarify. I'd conflated your sentiments with a couple other commenters, erroneously as it turns out. Your response makes total sense to me. Thank you for reading!John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-58517375785755001882011-05-02T07:32:59.121-04:002011-05-02T07:32:59.121-04:00Hi John, No, I didn't think Grandpa flips like...Hi John, No, I didn't think Grandpa flips like this all the time! I probably didn't word it very well (not good for a writer! What I meant was the irony of his understated reply - in that it sounds casual and everyday but you can feel the tension and panic behind it. Hope that's a bit more clear!Deb Rickardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17941866708845848582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-14588737322111411192011-05-01T18:52:12.551-04:002011-05-01T18:52:12.551-04:00This is brilliant - the differences of two generat...This is brilliant - the differences of two generations - grandpa with his ways of the world and the grandson with his simplified texting. Great piece - sharp!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-39626156557172323642011-04-30T17:36:34.820-04:002011-04-30T17:36:34.820-04:00Very powerfully told story. One of your best.Very powerfully told story. One of your best.Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-24742022806748541892011-04-30T13:56:40.793-04:002011-04-30T13:56:40.793-04:00Icy, to be fair to Grandpa, a great deal didn'...Icy, to be fair to Grandpa, a great deal didn't go his way. Did you think his emotions were entirely unearned? Did I drop the ball on it, or did he?<br /><br />Mark, I wouldn't mind having the toughness to last through all I put him through in a few scant paragraphs. Meanwhile, a gun on a wheelchair? You won't mess with that guy's handicap spot.John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-8461408009297796592011-04-30T13:33:31.971-04:002011-04-30T13:33:31.971-04:00I like gp, I wanna be just like him. Let him have ...I like gp, I wanna be just like him. Let him have a couple of minutes. He's earned them.<br /><br />I used to know someone whose father was a veteran in a wheelchair with a gun holster attached to its arm.Mark Kerstetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307987573435067415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-29090136817761043492011-04-30T11:37:04.734-04:002011-04-30T11:37:04.734-04:00I felt quite sorry for him but at the same time it...I felt quite sorry for him but at the same time it did seem a little like he was throwing a tantrum because things didn't work out the way that he wanted. Sure, he's trying to grieve, but waving a gun around isn't going to help anyone.Icy Sedgwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11501193571425442406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-80559685514511725472011-04-30T11:15:11.408-04:002011-04-30T11:15:11.408-04:00Aidan, haha, I didn't think about it that way....Aidan, haha, I didn't think about it that way. It is an "uphill both ways" sort of story, though I can vouch Grandpa's story is entirely true, insofar as it's fiction and I'm the authority on what I made up. <br /><br />Alison, do I get to make the Dean's List? The Strother's List?<br /><br />Deb, so you read the grandson's response as casual? Do you think Grandpa flips out like this all the time?<br /><br />Tim, once I wrote it that tab became indispensible. The story needz it, apparently.<br /><br />Alan, it is so funny to read comments like yours, Alan, and your note on the retweet. I nearly didn't post this at all thinking it wasn't good enough. Writing daily forces me to put things out there, and sometimes surprises me. The reception for this one is a definite surprise, though also one of the most pleasant surprises of my year. Sometimes I really don't know my own work until others have it. That's potentially dangerous. Heartening, too.John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-62456941054563919952011-04-30T10:22:26.025-04:002011-04-30T10:22:26.025-04:00I agree with the others, John. One of your finest ...I agree with the others, John. One of your finest flash pieces. The old man's summary of his hard life in juxtaposition with the boy's short message to his mother was all kinds of sad and funny.Alan W. Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17067022519729701245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-65255647542861975872011-04-30T05:50:12.971-04:002011-04-30T05:50:12.971-04:00The whole piece is good, but that text message at ...The whole piece is good, but that text message at the end is brilliant.Tim VanSant Writeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17614259042362664840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-37177255921146195152011-04-30T03:38:17.859-04:002011-04-30T03:38:17.859-04:00Wow! Excellent and powerful post. A pleasure to re...Wow! Excellent and powerful post. A pleasure to read and packs a punch. Also, love the ironic twist re grandson's casual acceptance of GPs (nearly literally!) explosive emotion. Great stuff.Deb Rickardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17941866708845848582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-58846374713394971082011-04-30T03:00:05.704-04:002011-04-30T03:00:05.704-04:00Well it's easy to see from the number of comme...Well it's easy to see from the number of comments that this one is a real winner! Absolutely superb, great details of his myriad disappointments, very human and as others have said, great without the last line but with it, bloody amazing. Really excellent, go to the top of the #fridayflash class.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-43521264047658950732011-04-29T23:22:32.899-04:002011-04-29T23:22:32.899-04:00I loved this fresh take of walking uphill against ...I loved this fresh take of walking uphill against the win both ways to school when I was young. Great closing with the text.AidanFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876041003278004627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-8526707795143421582011-04-29T23:08:36.540-04:002011-04-29T23:08:36.540-04:00Ian, one of the most generous comments I've ev...Ian, one of the most generous comments I've ever received. Thank you so much for giving it two readings and telling me about them. I did go over this for a few extra coats of literary paint, tinkering with the sentence balancing. If they held up under scrutiny, I'll feel even better about my work.<br /><br />A.M., I make an effort to vary what appears on here, day-to-day and #fridayflash-to-#fridayflash. Last week was an anthropomorphic comedy about the sun. This week? Angry single grandpa.<br /><br />Danni, actually Easter went very well. While visiting my grandfather brought the idea to mind, there is no relation in the two stories. He's never pulled a gun on me, never said "Jap" or screamed about my late grandmother. I'm sorry it has any semblance of familiarity for you, Danni. Hope it wasn't harmful to read.John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-32130319102762071472011-04-29T22:08:52.361-04:002011-04-29T22:08:52.361-04:00Brilliant. Having helped my mom care for my Grandm...Brilliant. Having helped my mom care for my Grandma for years, this scene was frighteningly real. (so I guess Easter was a little rough then?)Danielle La Pagliahttp://www.daniellelapaglia.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-28487319171363142452011-04-29T21:36:58.291-04:002011-04-29T21:36:58.291-04:00I have to say I was surprised by this piece, it do...I have to say I was surprised by this piece, it doesn't feel like your usual fare.<br /><br />Not to say I didn't enjoy it, and -- like everyone else, it seems! -- I thought the text message at the end was a genius touch!A.M.Hartehttp://amharte.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-54636663423179775332011-04-29T17:51:23.449-04:002011-04-29T17:51:23.449-04:00Funny, fast-paced writing.
How do I know this? Co...Funny, fast-paced writing.<br /><br />How do I know this? Coz I read it twice.<br /><br />The first time I was watching the scene and hearing the dialogue from gp.<br /><br />The second time I could concentrate on the technique.<br /><br />And that, for me, is the sign of bloody good writing.<br /><br />New fan. Been trying to catch up with everyone's Friday Flash today instead of just lamely taking the comments on mine and saying thanks.<br /><br />It has taken me an hour to get round everyone's website. I was beginning to flag, to tire. The wine was calling me.<br /><br />But this was the best of the lot. Glad I kept going.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-14598449147715563122011-04-29T16:38:46.521-04:002011-04-29T16:38:46.521-04:00Lou, I can see that slouch. Love that you read tha...Lou, I can see that slouch. Love that you read that into the scene.<br /><br />Raven, I'm glad it rescued it from that, because pure darkness wouldn't do this justice. He wouldn't even be suffering if he hadn't loved at various points.<br /><br />Steve, would you not count the emotions he's going through as the sort of thing that would you in a special kind of pissed-off? Am legitimately curious if I failed you there.<br /><br />Sonia and Lara, thanks so much for the enthusiastic words. Can't believe I almost didn't post this one when it seems to have done so well you folks.<br /><br />Harry, thanks for returning to clarify, Harry! I can see that impression and siding with Grandpa.<br /><br />Chuck, "It didn't" might have been going too far on the understatements. Deliberate experiment on my part. Glad you liked it!John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-27380978168238810622011-04-29T16:35:35.316-04:002011-04-29T16:35:35.316-04:00Your use of understatement in both the title and t...Your use of understatement in both the title and the ending are brilliant. Perfect for the terrific story unfolding on between. Great story, as always, John!Chuck Allenhttp://www.chuckallen.usnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-66796914599814579382011-04-29T15:31:48.501-04:002011-04-29T15:31:48.501-04:00I wouldn't say I loathed the grandson. The imp...I wouldn't say I loathed the grandson. The impression I got of him was the typical put-upon youngster. I liked that the Grandpa set him straight and was damn well going to grieve at his own speed in his own way.Harryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09628269009060185397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-8035315109791666242011-04-29T15:27:48.773-04:002011-04-29T15:27:48.773-04:00John this is amazing. The anger is so vivid. The k...John this is amazing. The anger is so vivid. The kid texting at the end so fitting. You never cease to amaze!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-72288808328504485482011-04-29T14:36:37.087-04:002011-04-29T14:36:37.087-04:00I don't know whether to laugh or feel sorry fo...I don't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for him. Funny and amazing.Soniahttp://storytreasury.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-20810870914004631812011-04-29T13:54:09.513-04:002011-04-29T13:54:09.513-04:00Great writing as ever John.
As far as the grandpa...Great writing as ever John.<br /><br />As far as the grandpa is concerned, it must take a special kind of pissed-offedness to threaten your own grandchild with a pistol, but I still feel sympathy for the man and his losses and letdowns in life.Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.com