tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post4331417332869521405..comments2024-02-22T07:47:22.661-05:00Comments on The Bathroom Monologues: Bathroom Monologue: PeggyJohn Wiswellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-84259269896565264222012-01-02T08:44:09.675-05:002012-01-02T08:44:09.675-05:00A nice story of longing and regret, of being unabl...A nice story of longing and regret, of being unable to see the present hope when all you have is the past torments rising up in your mind.Stephenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00655810270242939262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-44957483124498521082012-01-02T01:24:05.230-05:002012-01-02T01:24:05.230-05:00Sorry it's taken me a while to get back, my st...Sorry it's taken me a while to get back, my stupid gmail's been putting all my mail into the spam folder - go figure?<br /><br />I guess I thought it was about his guilt, because she was lying in bed ill and he was comparing what she had to what he didn't have over there.<br /><br />I have a simple mind John^__^Helen A. Howellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12748128819820230841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-9215767134932095152012-01-01T20:17:10.691-05:002012-01-01T20:17:10.691-05:00POW!!! - this one is a powerful read my friend. I...POW!!! - this one is a powerful read my friend. I love your descriptions - and the torment he is experiencing and the longing for something new is really strong - great stuffAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-54030296004903118182012-01-01T09:36:39.035-05:002012-01-01T09:36:39.035-05:00Stunning Mr W.. This is an incredibly moving piece...Stunning Mr W.. This is an incredibly moving piece of work...The great thing about your writing is how you manage to suck the reader into the story and it just won't let go..One of your best..(but they are all bloody good, so that's a tough call!)Tom Gillespie : @tom_gillespiehttp://www.tom-gillespie.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-37179249102146867882011-12-30T21:50:35.416-05:002011-12-30T21:50:35.416-05:00I like the way you weave together the details of t...I like the way you weave together the details of the soldiers life with that of his sister. The end has a nice punch and seems to add a touch of theme about not noticing that which is in front of you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14170148559429001125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-66559753619061164542011-12-30T18:05:23.005-05:002011-12-30T18:05:23.005-05:00This certainly packs a punch, sir. You've fit ...This certainly packs a punch, sir. You've fit a whole lot of both regret and resentment into this, but I dunno, I read that last line as being full of hope. His presence HAS had an effect, and he's been able to do a whole lot more than the neurosurgeon he wishes he was. Brilliant stuff.Icy Sedgwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11501193571425442406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-19328795062402365232011-12-30T16:36:06.465-05:002011-12-30T16:36:06.465-05:00Powerful. Very very powerful. I saw lots of PTSD, ...Powerful. Very very powerful. I saw lots of PTSD, guilt and love, too. :)Sonia Lalhttp://storytreasury.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-89122397128426591742011-12-30T15:09:27.315-05:002011-12-30T15:09:27.315-05:00Such a beautiful, brutal piece. I can really see a...Such a beautiful, brutal piece. I can really see a big man broken by this. It's perfect.Raven Corinn Carlukhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06014248975870886289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-7303380415178985242011-12-30T13:53:29.761-05:002011-12-30T13:53:29.761-05:00I actually shivered at the end of this piece. I t...I actually shivered at the end of this piece. I too, think it is one of your best yet. <br />You recently told me you had a soundtrack in mind when reading one of my stories. I had Hell Broke Luce by Tom Waits running through my mind while I was reading this.Judge Whiskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04397629379090101005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-79340126946494240422011-12-30T13:27:36.061-05:002011-12-30T13:27:36.061-05:00You have a real talent for getting inside characte...You have a real talent for getting inside character's minds and bringing them to life. <br /><br />And such a touching story, a great way to end this year's run of awesome fiction. Look forward to more next year. Happy New Year! :)Craig Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07176851401465801580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-7215568549594746082011-12-30T13:08:54.510-05:002011-12-30T13:08:54.510-05:00Powerful stuff, with a hint of redemption. I reall...Powerful stuff, with a hint of redemption. I really liked it. Well done. :)Siobhan Muirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00595776353171184107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-82442987527009591642011-12-30T12:39:37.504-05:002011-12-30T12:39:37.504-05:00Most of all I love the examples of the sheets and ...Most of all I love the examples of the sheets and his unit and the Humvees and all the things he's not supposed to be thinking about. The mind is not that easily controlled and battened down and he was still carrying very raw and vivid experiences with him. A sense of guilt at not being omnipresent and omnipotent both for her and for his unit, he's faced directly with this lack of control over our circumstances that we mostly try to ignore. Very human piece.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-10604780940728120802011-12-30T11:01:42.358-05:002011-12-30T11:01:42.358-05:00Larry, did you read much PTSD into this?
Helen, I...Larry, did you read much PTSD into this?<br /><br />Helen, I'm interested in your interpretation. How do you feel the last line is about his guilt and nothing else?<br /><br />Deb, I wanted to echo the way minds get stuck in undesired places. That might have been the point of the piece. Thanks, Deb.<br /><br />Linda, it has to be more real in the present, even if the past was more tangible. That can go for a lot more than war. Do let me know what emerges from your longterm thinking.<br /><br />Peter, I'm now feverishly flipping through my archives to figure out the mystery post. You didn't mean Dawn Defines ( http://johnwiswell.blogspot.com/2011/11/bathroom-monologue-dawn-defines.html ) , did you?<br /><br />Jack, Steve and Tony, thank you for the kind words. Did any element in particular strike you guys?John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-7080972496743377562011-12-30T10:23:50.651-05:002011-12-30T10:23:50.651-05:00Marvelous, intense writing, John. You should reall...Marvelous, intense writing, John. You should really be proud of this one.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-517538522369381042011-12-30T09:34:28.375-05:002011-12-30T09:34:28.375-05:00John, this is absolutely riveting, extremely good ...John, this is absolutely riveting, extremely good writing.Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-69645580912867039112011-12-30T07:58:06.713-05:002011-12-30T07:58:06.713-05:00I think you're levelling up writing wise. (I t...I think you're levelling up writing wise. (I think you're a higher level than me already btw :P)<br /><br />A couple of times recently I've been really blown away by your stories. This one and the one where the protagonist is watching the girl (sorry I forget the title)seem on a different level.<br /><br />Keep it up!Peter Newmanhttp://www.runpetewrite.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-64822486515046910852011-12-30T06:51:30.791-05:002011-12-30T06:51:30.791-05:00Powerful. The war in his head more real than the w...Powerful. The war in his head more real than the war he fought, the longing for something most everyone else would find horrific. Still thinking about this one. Probably will for some time. Peace...Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01110078016784294934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-2740759227162521752011-12-30T06:41:53.489-05:002011-12-30T06:41:53.489-05:00Simply incredible. My favourite piece of yours so ...Simply incredible. My favourite piece of yours so far. Thanks, John.Jack Holthttp://jackkholt.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-76754591403512575642011-12-30T04:37:34.058-05:002011-12-30T04:37:34.058-05:00This is strong stuff, and I love the fractured tho...This is strong stuff, and I love the fractured thoughts and images - the way you bounce from the current scene to memories.Deb Rickardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17941866708845848582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-18623927456410862372011-12-30T03:26:20.053-05:002011-12-30T03:26:20.053-05:00A powerful piece of writing John, shows I think so...A powerful piece of writing John, shows I think some of the torment that his experience had left him with, and yet also the desire for something different, something that takes the pain away. But it is that last line that captured me the most:<br />"He was so occupied mouthing apologies that he couldn’t see her lips moving, too."<br /><br />That last line captured the guilt he felt for comparing what he had with what she had, that it seemed to consume him.<br /><br />Maybe I've interpreted this all wrong, but that's how it came over to me. ^__^Helen A. Howellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12748128819820230841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337042377966398742.post-37720664926965520712011-12-30T01:03:19.563-05:002011-12-30T01:03:19.563-05:00Some powerful stuff there, John. PTSD, love, longi...Some powerful stuff there, John. PTSD, love, longing… great stuff.Larry Kollarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08317037795075278427noreply@blogger.com