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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Bathroom Dialogue: Orange Juice and House Fires, OR, How John Talks to a Girlfriend

“Fresh squeezed orange juice! That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“It only took us… thirty-three minutes? To fill two glasses? Yeah, this is fulfilling work."

“Do you have a problem with my juicer?”

“No, I love it. I’m a novelist. I’m used to things taking longer to make than they do to consume.”

“What? Doesn’t it take you a weekend to write a novel? I know Amanda Hocking does, like, four in a year.”

“You know, a house fire would only take me seconds to start.”

“Not funny! That’s not funny!”

“Odd. It took so little time to think up.”

“Give me your juice. I don’t trust you with this.”

6 comments:

  1. Sure, but could you start a fire by rubbing two oranges together? Or just an argument?

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    1. At high enough friction levels, I'm told most anything can start a fire.

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  2. I had a flashback to Milton in Office Space *mumbles* "I could burn this whole place down."

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  3. “No, I love it. I’m a novelist. I’m used to things taking longer to make than they do to consume.” This rings of truth LOL

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  4. I love you're dialogue bits. They tickle my funny bone.

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  5. I’m a novelist. I’m used to things taking longer to make than they do to consume. -> so true!!!!

    The last line made me laugh.

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