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Monday, November 26, 2007
Bathroom Monologue: I've been everywhere, man
Pai'Guan, the great sorcerer and the only man to set foot on every continent of our world, never saw the world perfectly. Born blind, he grew up in a wealthy family, the middle child of seven. Talent for mysticism allowed him to stand out, and by forty seasons of age he could levitate himself and two of his sisters. In his first semester at wizarding school, he concocted magical stones to restore vision to his right eye. He believed he could not see green properly, but had no point of reference to know for certain. At middle age he traveled across the second continent and was blinded by dragon's fire. Slaying the creature, it's blood trickled into his face, and though his right eye was burned shut, he began to see from his left eye. The vision was flickery at best, and usually black and white, but it was enough to continue traveling. By two hundred and twenty-two seasons of age, he reached the top of the world, and looked out. The closeness of the sun scorched him, and he lost nearly all vision. Without glasses, he could see nothing but his own body. He stayed on the mountain top and looked at himself, meditating for three seasons, before building a boat out of trees from the tallest peeks, and setting sail for the foreign continents, alone. By the time he returned home, he had an unhealthy reputation for defying governments and gods by crossing every border in the known world. He would not slow down for an interview or an offer of biography, though. One diligent reporter chased him down and breathlessly asked where Pai'Guan was going now that he had been everywhere. Pai'Guan adjusted his glasses, so thick that no one else could see through them, and chortled, "I haven't seen enough yet."
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