Bathroom Monologue: John's old Chem teacher tragically asks him to cover his class for a minute

"Yes, uh, Maxwell Planck discovered the, uhm... atom. As well as quantum theory, and the astro-zombie. Really, just a horrible story. They devoured his family right in front of him when he was five. Maybe three. He survived in the wild eating mushrooms and recycled text books. Later the astro-zombies returned to the stars, around the time that he found advanced wave mechanics on the back of an old matchbook, hence revolutionizing the world paradigm of science, insofar as we approach the, uh, theories of relativity, bodies in motion, and I think he helped thwart the Nazis, actually, with the awesome force of Planck's Constant... and I'm sure Mr. Kochanov can take it from there."