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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Bathroom Monologue: One time, these ninja

A tribe of ninja, as old as insecurity itself, skilled in knife throwing. Unfortunately, there were no wars left. There were unhappy people, but not many murderously unhappy people. The tribal elders came up with numerous product ideas, but nobody seemed interested in luxury assassination items. So the luckiest of the ninja got jobs as strong-armers and debt collectors. Some of the younger ninja became very successful repo men. Many worked Springs and Summers at carnivals, getting fat on hotdogs and cotton candy as they tossed daggers, axes and flaming spears at giggling singers on spinning wheels. And there were numerous consulting jobs on movies, largely for fight choreography. It wasn't a glamorous existence for the ninja, until a chain of gyms wanted to buy their dumbest invention: the in-door rock-climbing wall.

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