Bathroom Monologue: "I bring unto you These Fifteen--" -Mel Brooks

11. Thou shalt not count squiggly lines in Connect Four.

12. Thou shalt not count carbs without being able to map carbohydrate molecules and diagram enzyme exchanges.

13. Thou shalt not go to protests to meet women.

14. Thou shalt not sweat Jerusalem. Yeah, it's the Holy Land now, but real estate values were created to change. It's better I don't tell you who'll be fighting over it.

15. Most importantly, thou shalt not sail to the West. If you see the Britains, turn back. You'll screw everything up. I put the ocean there for a reason.