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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Bathroom Monologue: Nerds v. Jocks: Ancient Edition

During the Ting Period, strategist philosophers enjoyed many games, both solitary efforts and competitions between teams, which taught them about interaction with the physical world. The favorite of philosopher generals was the finger puzzle, which trapped the index finger of each hand inside an unbreakable tube. The dualism of the solution, that submission and aggression would have to coexist for the problem to be solved, was very amusing to these generals. They used it as the foundation for several lectures on tact and careful touch in the execution of commands. One day Keiji, a great man of the wilderness, visited the capitol and was jokingly invited to test the finger puzzle. He was in good humor until people started laughing at him, at which point he growled, tore the puzzle in half, and ate it. The philosopher generals cried, "Impossible!" to which Keiji responded with an offer to further illustrate "my point" on the battlefield. With padded swords, of course. The generals declined, and afterwards amended into their lectures that care in military operations was only necessary if one wasn't overwhelmingly strong, and only if one actually cared; and that if one was dealing with an easily frustrated party of overwhelming strength, it was wise to ingratiate oneself to them. Keiji was invited to attend any and all of these lectures, and whenever there was a rumor he would attend, the lecture was curiously well-catered.

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