Bathroom Monologue: Why? … But I never even ..

You can always tell how badly a man is lying about his feelings for a woman by the ratio of times he uses the words "why" and "never" to the number of seconds he speaks. If he says, “Never even,” this counts as 1.5 never’s. Seconds completely spent stuttering, stammering and/or attempting to form full sentences count as seconds speaking, but are usually doubly damning.