Bathroom Monologue: Games Journalism

There is no story to speak of, with little-to-no character development. Something is going on in Russia. I'm not sure; maybe it's some allegory of the arms race. With the void that is its plot, we have gameplay. For one, the playtime is too short - you could finish it in one sitting. There is no variety in the gameplay. The difficulty curve is ridiculously steep, topping out a few minutes in. The sound design is lacking, with just three songs playing over and over and over again. The multiplayer is as laughably limited as the single-player campaign. Truly, Tetris is a classic.