Bathroom Monologue: There's only two things guaranteed in life: death and taxes

-Breathing
-Sleeping
-Eating
-Drinking
-Digestion
-Hope no one sees what you're doing
-Be at a point when you really should care about something (bank screwed up your balance yet again, girlfriend sleeping with your bestfriend, etc.), but don't
-Exaggerate
-Excretion
-Hold an incorrect opinion
-Come up with a clever retort hours after you lost the argument
-Think
-Feel
-Think or feel someone else is utterly stupid for not thinking or feeling the way you do
-Life