Bathroom Monologue: "The world’s oldest profession…” –Anonymous, The Baltimore Sun

Second oldest. The first would be necessary to generate the goods or revenue that would inspire the Neanderthal lass (or gigolo) to provide sex. In fact, if the master of the older profession had so much of his (or her) stock that he/she was willing to trade for a little geisha action, then he/she was probably providing to other customers for more practical returns. These customers, in turn, would need to have professions of their own – tiger hunters, berry gatherers, some nutcase raising investments for something called “the wheel” – rendering the prostitute not only not the oldest or second oldest, but likely a latter-day recreational profession. Unless you count mates and whatnot, in which case, please explain to my wife why you just called her a whore. She’s on her period, so I’m certainly not doing it. I’ll be out gathering Mydol. Not sure how old the pharmacist profession is, but I sure am grateful it’s there.