Bathroom Monologue: St. Peter, with a Brooklyn Accent, Explaining Gender to Unborn Souls

“The first package is a little more robust than the second. It comes with multiple orgasms, at the price of bleeding from the uterus monthly for a while. There’s a chance of self-esteem issues, weird body shapes, and, uhm… lemme se… ah, pregnancy, which will destroy your figure and hurt like a bitch, but creates the miracle of life and in many places comes with a paid maternity leave. It’s a balance thing. The second package lets you piss standing up. Pick a door and you’ll be conceived shortly.”