Bathroom Monologue: Born Too

“I wasn’t born too late. I wasn’t born too early. I’d have died of this condition in the time of the Stoics or Romantics. Hell, given the statistics I’d probably have died in childbirth and taken my mother with me. And I wasn’t born too early because the further we go the more close-minded we get. If I were born in a hundred years into some liberated world where you’re free to think anything and be demeaned for thinking anything else than the norms, I’d be as good as lobotomized. And if I was born in five hundred years it would be a miracle, and a short-lived one, as we’d have so ruined the planet by then that I’d be the second immaculate birth and the human only alive – a messiah who suffocated seconds later. Should I have survived in the past or future, I’d have different experiences, be conditioned different ways, and ultimately not become what I am. I couldn’t have been born any time but now, not too late or too early, because any other birth would have produced another person. I’m me and I’m now and I don’t fit and I’m fitting better than I ever could have.”