Bathroom Monologue: Sleeping Butterface

“My favorite story as a kid was Sleeping Beauty. Great movie by Disney, cool songs, gnarly dwarves, and the guy gets the girl at the end. It was my favorite story all the way until I tried it at home. Turns out? You kiss a princess and she wakes up, her guards beat you until your kidneys fail. It’s much better to kiss the princess without her waking up. I’ve tried it a couple of times and the beatings are much more tolerable. I’m not sure what fetish this road will lead me towards, but hi ho, hi ho.” -Anonymous