Bathroom Monologue: “How many equal sides does a scalene triangle have?” –The author’s brother-in-law in Know-It-All

“One. Now I know what you’re going to say: that a triangle has to have at least two sides be equal to each other to have any that are equal at all. But you didn’t ask how many sides a specific scalene triangle had to itself. You asked how many equal sides it had, so I answered how many sides the triangle had that were equal to another triangle I was imagining. It may have three similar sides to an identical scalene triangle. However, it cannot have any identical sides to itself because it’s scalene – so you can only be asking about its relation to another triangle, so I picked one on my own. Booyah.”