Bathroom Monologue: Cashiers Have Their Ways

“Hey, did I leave my keys in here?”
“Someone did leave a set of keys at checkout, but how do I know they were yours?”
“I just left here. I was just here! Talking to you!”
“So you say. What kind of car do you drive?”
“Hybrid.”
“I’ve wanted a Hybrid…”
“Give me my keys!”
“Your ownership is still unestablished, sir. What items did you buy at my register, supposing you did buy any at all?”
“These Snickers. You know that.”
“I know that Snickers are delicious.”
“Are you… are you trying to extort my candy?”
“I could leave these keys here and look the other way, if something preoccupied me. Like caramel and peanuts, mixed in silky chocolate.”
“You… diabolical bastard.”
“We cashiers have our ways.”