-Would you strangle a dolphin for cash?
-If George Washington was the first president, then where did he come from?
-Which would win in a fight: a KFC store, or a shark with mechanical legs?
-What is the hardest you’ve ever jogged?
-What is the probability of a velociraptor accidentally activating a time machine and traveling to the present? Also, can I borrow your time machine? I… misplaced mine.
-How would we know if we were characters in a very detailed Grand Theft Auto game?
-What part of a horse would be the least distressing if you found it in your bed? Also, do you lock your stable at night?
-How aware would you be of a parasitic squid attaching to your back if it had the pheromonal ability to deceive your touch-receptors? Also, what is that bulge under your shirt?
-The average PSP has more computing power than all the computers that organized the first mission to the moon. Given that, should you feel amazingly embarrassed or relieved that you can’t beat the first level of this game?
-If one organ in your body is conspiring against you right now, which do you think it is and what strategy will it require to win?
(Please feel free to respond to any of these in the Comments section)
1) Would you strangle a dolphin for cash?
ReplyDelete-I can proudly say that no sir, I would not.
2)If George Washington was the first president, then where did he come from?
-Your Mom. That's right, I said it.
3)Which would win in a fight: a KFC store, or a shark with mechanical legs?
-Oh, fuck. How long can it last above water? Who am I kidding,.. of course, the shark!
4)What is the hardest you’ve ever jogged?
-As hard as my high school teacher made me, and I haven't jogged since.
5)What is the probability of a velociraptor accidentally activating a time machine and traveling to the present? Also, can I borrow your time machine? I… misplaced mine.
6) Oh, shit... I was going to ask you if I could borrow your time machine...
7)How would we know if we were characters in a very detailed Grand Theft Auto game?
-You could never know for sure,
8)What part of a horse would be the least distressing if you found it in your bed? Also, do you lock your stable at night?
-Oh, balls.
9)How aware would you be of a parasitic squid attaching to your back if it had the pheromonal ability to deceive your touch-receptors? Also, what is that bulge under your shirt?
- :O
10)The average PSP has more computing power than all the computers that organized the first mission to the moon. Given that, should you feel amazingly embarrassed or relieved that you can’t beat the first level of this game?
-I should, but I don't.
11)If one organ in your body is conspiring against you right now, which do you think it is and what strategy will it require to win?
-Bravo on the questions, especially this one! I would have to say my epidermis because it's always showing! Ohhh that was such a lame answer... Oh well. Awesome potty monologue!! :P
xox
Deirdre
-Would you strangle a dolphin for cash?
ReplyDeleteHow much cash? And is it to death, or just for a little while?
-If George Washington was the first president, then where did he come from?
An egg.
-Which would win in a fight: a KFC store, or a shark with mechanical legs?
Shark always wins. ALWAYA
-What is the hardest you’ve ever jogged?
...Not very
-What is the probability of a velociraptor accidentally activating a time machine and traveling to the present? Also, can I borrow your time machine? I… misplaced mine.
Sorry, using it to go back in time and convince WHAM that their music made world peace possible.
-How would we know if we were characters in a very detailed Grand Theft Auto game?
Go shoot an old lady in the face and see if you get any stars over your head.
-What part of a horse would be the least distressing if you found it in your bed? Also, do you lock your stable at night?
The head. I don't. After all, what if I need my horse to escape the British?
-How aware would you be of a parasitic squid attaching to your back if it had the pheromonal ability to deceive your touch-receptors? Also, what is that bulge under your shirt?
My talking hump.
-The average PSP has more computing power than all the computers that organized the first mission to the moon. Given that, should you feel amazingly embarrassed or relieved that you can’t beat the first level of this game?
Hard to play this witch poking game with one hand.
-If one organ in your body is conspiring against you right now, which do you think it is and what strategy will it require to win?
I'm fairly certain its my pituitary gland, and all it needs to do is not work.
This has been enlightening and funny as well. Thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the blog, Hannah. This post is a world away from your confident conversation system, but I find sometimes the ice can only be broken by the absurd.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for actually filling those out, Deirdre and Sam! I love your talking hump.