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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Bathroom Monologue: Newton and Priestley Become the Two Old Muppets on that Balcony

The two looked around the room. The walls and floor were steel, with only a wooden table in the center. There were no windows, and still stranger, they both suspected that they were supposed to be dead.

Both being upright gentlemen, one extended a hand in greeting shortly.

“Isaac Newton.”

“Ah, pleased to meet you. Joseph Priestley.”

“Didn’t you discover air?”

“Why, yes. And didn’t you discover gravity?”

“Among other things.”

“Never thought much of that. Not so difficult to realize things fall down.”

“As opposed to the staggering genius of realizing there was something in front of your face? Wind never gave that away?"

“You don’t think we’re consigned to this box because we discovered obvious things, do you?”

“Not unless Rene Descartes shows up shortly.”

“Why Rene Descartes?”

“Because he discovered that he existed at all.”

Oh, and they laughed.

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha! OMG this is by FAR my favoritest monologue!! I especially enjoyed:
    “As opposed to the staggering genius of realizing there was something in front of your face? Wind never gave that away?

    (You said to let you know if I noticed anything "incorrect" on your monologues, lol I can't believe I'm even writing this, but you forgot to put an end quote on the above dialogue. Yeah, that's about all the literary advice I can give to the King. ;o)
    Fucking amazing, though. Truly! Many thanks for sending this to me! I have a huge (proud) grin on my face!
    -Deirdre

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