"One Texas newspaper reports that the Rapture actually happened two Thursdays ago, but few noticed as only five people ascended. Ironically, all five were together at the time, clasped in an argument over who had the correct religion. More ironically, it happened a couple of seconds before three of them would have done something with a pool cue that would have probably kept them from ascending at all. Some theologians take this as a hint. Other theologians say that’s it and we’d all better invest in solar power right away."
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