Bathroom Monologue: Stop the Watch

When I said the stopwatch could pause time I didn't mean you could just click the top and go rob a bank while everyone stayed still. I certainly didn't mean you could yank the batteries out and freeze the planet in place. I understand you’re dissatisfied with the purchase, but it’s user error. It's a precise mechanism, balanced and crafted down to the molecules to operate in singular fashion. It's like a woman: you've got to be careful with your touch or you're not getting anything out of it. You damn sure can't just jam the batteries back in and expect it to work like I advertised. Hey, are you listening? I said you can't just put those back in. Put them down. God knows what'll happen if you