Bathroom Monologue: Ways to create a haunted car

-If a zombie bit Kit from Knight Rider.

-Drive the car off a cliff midway through a cross-country road trip. Then go rent another car and drive it the rest of the way. Unfinished business and betrayal usually creates ghosts.

-Play DVD’s of Christine, The Ring, The Grudge, The Eye and other stuff on the on-board TV. Maybe it’ll get the idea from them. If it doesn’t turn into a ghost car immediately following the receipt of all those digital ghost movies, betray the GPS in some horrible way and leave it for dead, preferably at the bottom of a well.

-An infection-style zombie dies and bleeds in a gas station, its blood dripping through the grates and into the gas reserve. You then make the terrible mistake of gassing up with unleaded.

-After a racecar wrecks so badly that only the engine is left functional, take that engine and stick it in a brand new car.

-Take your mom’s bed sheets and drape them over the car. Cut two eyeholes for the windshield wipers.