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Friday, January 8, 2010

Bathroom Monologue: Mystery Belt

This story has been taken down so it can be submitted for publication. Hopefully you'll see it elsewhere soon. But if you're curious, I'm leaving the link to the audio edition up here.

30 comments:

  1. You rock my world, John. (I had to say that). No, seriously, this is completely bizarre. I love the thought of sun wearing all the planets and stars as a big tight belt.

    A sassy moon making the sun feel insignificant. LOL

    My favorite of yours this year. Well done.

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  2. Great! I particular like hwo the voice of the sun is extremely believable

    Good stuff

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  3. But the year is only eight days old! Is that praise also prophecy, Jodi? Will I not write anything better for the rest of the year? Am I doomed throughout 2010?

    Thank you both. Chance, I'm curious - did you find my voice on the recording to be believable, or just the few lines I gave the Sun?

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  4. I love origin stories. My favourite bit is that the Sun gathered all the prettiest planets together herself from all over the place.

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  5. Heh, this was cute. In a way, the size disparity between the sun and moon made their conversation all the funnier.

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  6. You are fast becoming a favourite of mine, John. Nice work.

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  7. I think the dialogue and the mannerisms you gave the Sun, made it very believable. Your recording just aided the delivery

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  8. Brilliantly imaginative throughout, exemplified by the line: "Time passed. We’d say years, but with all the planets wobbling, years weren’t exactly reliable markers of time."

    A perfect tale for all the post-Christmas diet-ers.

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  9. Fantastic idea. The dialogue was witty. Enjoyable read!

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  10. Clever and witty and fun. Basically everything you expect from John Wiswell. Great voice too.

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  11. David, I came up with that line as I was recording the story. I rewrote it a bit so I could expand. I'm glad you liked it!

    I'm glad everyone seems to be enjoying it so far. I like doing the absurd works, and if it makes people laugh then I feel I'm doing something right in this.

    A particular thank-you to all my visitors today. You brought this little blog to over 15,000 hits!

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  12. I love absurd from you. It seems right somehow. Wonderful explanation for the orbits, springing from her too tight belt.

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  13. Me like - I have the imagery in my head so strongly!

    Only winced a little at the white dwarf bit honest! Works well as a metaphor if not in a star life-line as you have it (sorry, I just had to say it!).

    Thanks for sharing

    Sarah/Saffy

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  14. Really liked this!

    Great line from a worried moon, "...but you've been hitting the fusion more than the fission lately."

    Haven't we all!

    Avant garde belt, avant garde story. Quite enjoyable!

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  15. Wow this is cool and original - fantastic flash.

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  16. How DO you think these stories up? Fabulous. I so see this sunny chic sucking in gravity. And perfect start tothe NY (all those weighty resolutions). Thanks for making me smile. Peace, Linda

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  17. Sarah/Saffy is obviously right - the white dwarf stage is thought to be the last, so the Sun wouldn't expand from it into her current yellow phase. I just couldn't help myself with the joke. Sorry to offend my astrophysically sensitive readers.

    People quoting their favorite lines make me grin. I'm glad I could lend you all a laugh. Cheers!

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  18. I too, liked the fission/fusion line.

    I also like that the sun is 'she'. Not that it's ever an issue, but I like the assumption of female in this story.

    As always, a fun read John.

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  19. John, that was great! It gives a new meaning to Science Fiction! Ha!

    Thanks for writing it and telling the #writerlbsOff about it. When we think we have problems, we can just think of the poor sun.

    Well-done! That was as hot as the sun!

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  20. Thanks Anne! I'm glad you got a kick out of it. I had this idea sitting around and after you started #writerslbsoff, I had to go with this one at the next Friday.

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  21. Too funny! This is probably the most creative flash in the universe! :-) I certify you a flash genius. Loved the imagery of all the planets flying away from the sun when the belt broke!!!! Bravo!

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  22. This is one of those 'I wish I'd thought of that' stories. Brilliant!

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  23. I loved this! Very witty and funny. Great writing.

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  24. That one was fun to read. Quite imaginative. Great job!

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  25. Absolutely heartwarming, John. Thank you!

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  26. I loved this one! Probably my favourite story of the week.

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  27. What a fun, creative story. I never would have thought of this. Awesome!

    -Tim
    http://timremp.blogspot.com/

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  28. Max, Dana, Tim, thank you all. It warms my heart that people are still discovering this story and enjoying it enough to comment on it. I love writing humorous absurdism, and that it tickles others makes it all worthwhile. This story is reaching almost the most comments of anything in my blog history, which is also thrilling!

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