Bathroom Monologue: How Neat a Future

Because they're all old, you don't think about it. But a president is going to be born this year, or soon. He might have been born this morning. She might have been born this morning! We've already got a black president. Imagine: by the time all the little girls down at the local hospital grow up to be 35 so they can run for president, what barriers will be down? I mean, in thirty-five years? I'll be old. I'll hate the music. I'll think the Shia woman being sworn in is immodest to be naked. It's cold out – put some kind of scarf on! That generation was so weird, but they did their own thing and there's their naked Shia woman president, who probably has three daughters she thinks are wild beyond control. As I take my heart medication I'll wonder what taboos are left. Is modesty the new taboo? Will it be cutting edge to vote in a boring white guy president who is so pretentious that he wears pants to the Senate? Maybe they'll clone JFK and raise him on old-fashioned HD TV and Youtube videos with traditional American values. I don't know. The babies born in the hospital today don't know. But they'll grow up to be it. How crazy. How neat a future.