Bathroom Monologue: “The president is telling lawmakers, ‘If you want to fight about this, be my guest.’” –Some news anchor, CNN, March 25, 2010

“Be my guest? What does that mean?”

“He wants us to fight him in the west wing?”

“You can’t fight someone who’s having you over. That’s rude.”

“What if your host is inviting you to battle? Can’t we fight him then?”

“I guess.”

“Maybe he’s inviting us stay at a specific part of the White House. Like, a place with a boxing ring.”

“He wants us to stay in his boxing ring room?”

"How long does he want us for?"

"Maybe just for the fight? Give or take a training montage?"

“I’ll box him. He’s a basketball player. I was Golden Gloves in the navy.”

“Then it’s settled. Call the president and tell him we’re taking up his offer: we’ll be his guests, and we’ll knock his block off.”