Bathroom Monologue: Gooseless

There is a biological peculiarity that causes some people to shudder without reasonable cause. They don't do it in revulsion, or reaction to abnormal temperature, or because they're sick. A superstition holds that these fol shudder because a goose just walked over wherever they're going to be buried. Most folk have heard this superstition, but some act perplexed by it, never having had such an irrational shudder. These folk are to be pitied, not only for their lack of culture, but because they may be doomed to die at sea or in a horrific plane explosion. Keep them on land at all costs until they produce such a shudder. The goose-walking superstition provides a valuable resource, confirming who will die in such a way that they can be buried. The gooseless are in desperate need of watching.