David M, glad to see you back around here, and gladder still that you liked my vamp story. It's one of three I've been working on lately. I like playing with the old rules. If I had more space (or if I do a sequel), I'd explore further the idea of non-human bloodsucking. Chimps are genetically similar to us, after all!
Mr. Nash, I should have known you'd like that line.
Laura, don't you hate yappy dogs?
Eric and Mr. Shrock, that was actually the last thing I put in. Glad it got you to laugh.
Tony, it's what we've got to do for our buddies, right? Not so much #zombieluv as #bropires. Could we pull off a #bropires hashtag?
To say I love this would be an understatement. You've made vampires cool again! Little visual things made me think of Let the Right One In (ALWAYS a good comparison) but I do like how this guy things. Wonderfully written - and I would be interested to hear more from them!
Thanks Icy. The comparison to Let the Right One In is very flattering. The film version is my favorite piece of vampire storytelling in at least a decade.
As for seeing more of Nate and Jorge, maybe! I like them, though comments are so much lower than usual this week that I wonder if we're in the minority.
Great story; John. Had me laughing my ass off all the way through. Especially Jorge's three reasons. I like the kind of guy who plans ahead, and Jorge is that guy!
1) Holiday weekend, not a reflection on the writing; a reflection on going-away plans.
2) You already have more comments than I get on a good week.
3) "Palatable ass drippings?" Who thinks this stuff?
4) Fantastic dialogue
5) Got a little confused about the jeans and pillow; took a couple reads to get it.
6) Minor complaint: Need the word "is": "the only one who could explain all this dead.”
7) a--Loved how Jorge figured out all the late-nite ways to stay friends--creative! b--not sure about the zombie thing. I would have liked more explanation about his plan, since it is mentioned.
Squid, I'm more into friendships than romances anyway.
Marisa, I don't share an apartment with Jorge and Nate. I don't think I'll share the lobby with them, either, at least until Nate is properly taco-trained.
Maria, happy birthday! And thanks for stopping by. Glad I got you laughing.
Laurita, more than a few of them are pure luck and momentum. Thank you.
Linda, thank you kindly. I love playing in dialogue like this, and if it makes people laugh, then I win.
Peggy, thanks for the broad reply! Appreciate both the praise and the complaints. Tried to tweak them. Have a good holiday weekend!
Anthony, I highly recommend it. It streams for free on Netflix. It's not just a great vampire movie; it's a great film, up there with Stand By Me and Lord of the Flies for great movies about children.
This was absolutely fucking perfect. Best story I've read in months, and I've read some winners lately. Goddamn. How are you gonna top this? I want an entire novella of this. Just completely awesome.
That's the most fun vampire piece I've seen in years. I love the friend-helps-his-buddy aspect. That was great; and the dog is a nice touch too. Nice job.
Pam, I'm glad you liked them. Their rhythm came to me quickly and I fell for them too.
Carrie, wow! You really liked this one. Responses like yours make me want to expand it into something longer. Maybe a novella? But in terms of how I'm going to top this, I don't know. Next week's #fridayflash is actually a publication, but one of a different stripe of friendship.
Jdane, I'll take the most fun! Who's more familiar than a friend?
Rachel, thank you for stopping by. I'm glad you were gripped.
Michelle, read safely. I hope it didn't give you nightmares.
The first time I sniggered was at "Are those my jeans?" because I can just hear the annoyed-roommate tone. "You are a fucking creature of the night and as such get to bash absolutely no crazy-sounding thing" had me shrieking with laughter and flailing.
Now THAT is the kind of vampire I can love! I am sick to death of the romanticized Twilight guys - this one is FUNNY. It's like Dazed and Confused meets Count Dracula. Write this as a screenplay, John, I"M SERIOUS, and you will be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. This is original and FUNNY. Loved it. "ass drippings" HA!
I was wondering what would happen to the dog! Great flash John, you had me gripped throughout. Lots of laugh out loud moments too.
ReplyDeleteI've always been curious if vampires could survive without eating humans.
Funny when you first mentioned yapping dog I asked myself the question why vampires don't suck animals for the blood.
ReplyDeleteVampires are executive zombies - that's a killer line!
bloody marvelous!
ReplyDeleteLove the whole plan! It would work and bonus getting rid of the yappy dog. :)
ReplyDeleteThe vampire hiding under the car has me laughing. Brilliant story.
ReplyDeleteExcellent vampire story! Jorge's one two and three reasons were priceless. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, John! Talk about rolling with the unexpected!
ReplyDeleteLove it, John. Jorge's so sweet and thoughtful. I hope I have a friend like that when I turn undead. :-)
ReplyDeleteBest vampire story in many ages.
Bloody brilliant! (You think MY characters are wacky?) I had a blast reading this. Thanks, dude.
ReplyDeleteHey, it's important to have a plan! Just in case. Funny bit, pardon the pun. I expect to see a vampire version of Clerks forthcoming.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Good one! Laughed right out loud a couple times but especially about the dog. Gotta love Jorge!
ReplyDeleteWell done!
P.S. Can ya send Nate here. There's this poodle that's driving me up the wall....
That was the most fun I've had reading a vampire story in a long while.
ReplyDeleteDavid M, glad to see you back around here, and gladder still that you liked my vamp story. It's one of three I've been working on lately. I like playing with the old rules. If I had more space (or if I do a sequel), I'd explore further the idea of non-human bloodsucking. Chimps are genetically similar to us, after all!
ReplyDeleteMr. Nash, I should have known you'd like that line.
Laura, don't you hate yappy dogs?
Eric and Mr. Shrock, that was actually the last thing I put in. Glad it got you to laugh.
Tony, it's what we've got to do for our buddies, right? Not so much #zombieluv as #bropires. Could we pull off a #bropires hashtag?
TS and Gracie, those are massive compliments. Thank you so much. Happy some people get a kick out of this.
ReplyDeleteMr. Solender, thanks for the kind words.
Wulfie, I'll get right on it. Yapping, yapping everywhere, and not a dog to drink.
Valerie, the plan is vital! Maybe we need vampire plans to go with our zombie plans.
Monica, when I said you wrote wacky characters, I didn't say it was bad. Wacky is generally my favorite!
To say I love this would be an understatement. You've made vampires cool again! Little visual things made me think of Let the Right One In (ALWAYS a good comparison) but I do like how this guy things. Wonderfully written - and I would be interested to hear more from them!
ReplyDeleteThanks Icy. The comparison to Let the Right One In is very flattering. The film version is my favorite piece of vampire storytelling in at least a decade.
ReplyDeleteAs for seeing more of Nate and Jorge, maybe! I like them, though comments are so much lower than usual this week that I wonder if we're in the minority.
Vampire in the toilet is a nice antidote to recent romantic vampire tropes.
ReplyDeleteLoved this! Wacky, humorous, and just plain wonderful story.
ReplyDeleteOf course the PS3 has to be in the bathroom. I mean, being a vampire doesn't have to change everything!
So, are you sharing the bathroom with Nate while you write the monologues?
Great story; John. Had me laughing my ass off all the way through. Especially Jorge's three reasons. I like the kind of guy who plans ahead, and Jorge is that guy!
ReplyDeleteAnd next can he come here and bite my neighbours yappy dog?
ReplyDeleteYou always have such witty, hilarious lines in your work. Makes me jealous.
Your dialogue is so enviably and amazingly awesome. Super story, even for someone who's no fan of monsters of the night. Peace...
ReplyDelete1) Holiday weekend, not a reflection on the writing; a reflection on going-away plans.
ReplyDelete2) You already have more comments than I get on a good week.
3) "Palatable ass drippings?"
Who thinks this stuff?
4) Fantastic dialogue
5) Got a little confused about the jeans and pillow; took a couple reads to get it.
6) Minor complaint: Need the word "is": "the only one who could explain all this dead.”
7) a--Loved how Jorge figured out all the late-nite ways to stay friends--creative! b--not sure about the zombie thing. I would have liked more explanation about his plan, since it is mentioned.
8) Another kick-ass story from John.
Plain wacky and with that typical Wiswell flair. .. I still have to see "Let the Right One in" ...
ReplyDeleteSquid, I'm more into friendships than romances anyway.
ReplyDeleteMarisa, I don't share an apartment with Jorge and Nate. I don't think I'll share the lobby with them, either, at least until Nate is properly taco-trained.
Maria, happy birthday! And thanks for stopping by. Glad I got you laughing.
Laurita, more than a few of them are pure luck and momentum. Thank you.
Linda, thank you kindly. I love playing in dialogue like this, and if it makes people laugh, then I win.
Peggy, thanks for the broad reply! Appreciate both the praise and the complaints. Tried to tweak them. Have a good holiday weekend!
Anthony, I highly recommend it. It streams for free on Netflix. It's not just a great vampire movie; it's a great film, up there with Stand By Me and Lord of the Flies for great movies about children.
That was a totally funny, enjoyable read from start to finish. I love these guys. I'm rooting for both of them, for their friendship.
ReplyDeleteThis was absolutely fucking perfect. Best story I've read in months, and I've read some winners lately. Goddamn. How are you gonna top this? I want an entire novella of this. Just completely awesome.
ReplyDeleteThat's the most fun vampire piece I've seen in years. I love the friend-helps-his-buddy aspect. That was great; and the dog is a nice touch too. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteReally well done. Quite an enjoyable and griping story.
ReplyDeleteoh dear vampires give me nightmares!!!
ReplyDeleteSo reading through one eye.... well done :p
I loved this so much. Great reactions to this genre this week -- I love your take on vamps. I'd love to see more of these two!
ReplyDeletePam, I'm glad you liked them. Their rhythm came to me quickly and I fell for them too.
ReplyDeleteCarrie, wow! You really liked this one. Responses like yours make me want to expand it into something longer. Maybe a novella? But in terms of how I'm going to top this, I don't know. Next week's #fridayflash is actually a publication, but one of a different stripe of friendship.
Jdane, I'll take the most fun! Who's more familiar than a friend?
Rachel, thank you for stopping by. I'm glad you were gripped.
Michelle, read safely. I hope it didn't give you nightmares.
Cassie, what would you like to see them do?
What a hoot! John, you never disappoint.
ReplyDelete~jon
Really convincing piece. The dialogue was great.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I sniggered was at "Are those my jeans?" because I can just hear the annoyed-roommate tone. "You are a fucking creature of the night and as such get to bash absolutely no crazy-sounding thing" had me shrieking with laughter and flailing.
ReplyDeleteNow THAT is the kind of vampire I can love! I am sick to death of the romanticized Twilight guys - this one is FUNNY. It's like Dazed and Confused meets Count Dracula. Write this as a screenplay, John, I"M SERIOUS, and you will be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams.
ReplyDeleteThis is original and FUNNY. Loved it.
"ass drippings" HA!