Bathroom Monologue: Ranting Moon Hermit

“I should have seen it coming. You thought you were the center of the universe from birth. Humans said their hometown was at the middle of the planet. The sky was fixed over it your ground, or revolving around it. You had no evidence for it, but you were you and that’s all you needed. Evidence wound up saying you whirled around the sun and damned if it didn’t take an age for you to cave into it. But then? Why your sun was at the middle of the cosmos. You had God for a while and the first thing you did was put words in His mouth saying you were the owner of all the land, sea and other creations. He made everything, but you were His image, and His favorite, and His best. Eventually you cave into the evidence that you aren’t unique, that you’re one of a trillion results of the same evolutionary process, and that you evolved on a planet that wasn’t at the center of anything, and you still act like the whole universe is yours. Now you pretend that you invented meaning and right and wrong! That even if it isn’t about anything, it’s all about you. Yesterday you polluted your skies to yellow, and tomorrow you’ll strew trash all over Mars. This is why I’ve avoided you, and I’m not alone. What god, ghost or extraterrestrial wants to hear about “human rights?” You’re a fucking diva species. I’ve dealt with them before and won’t have them on my moon again.”