Bathroom Monologue: Beware the Sign

In the last stall on the left, there was a sign posted above the toilet that too many people disregarded. Consequentially, this stall had the most cadaver removals of any in the theatre. The most common victims are improperly trained children. People thought the sign was offensive or absurd and didn't let it affect their normal "It's not my house" bathroom habits. At first they would feel a little drowsy, then weak. Their hearts would race, and then burst. A janitor came in every hour to drag these people off and donate them to the local medical college. These people didn't realize "PISS ON THE SEAT AND DIE" wasn't a threat, but a description.