Bathroom Monologue: Inspired by a coughing fit

“Caro-ach! Car… Carol, little help!”

“See kids? Doing two things are once makes you stupid.”

“What the H-ugh.”

“Uncle John was walking and drinking water at the same time. Now he’s coughing. Do you hear how bad that sounds?”

“Yeah!”

“K-k-come on.”

“Do you want to be stupid like Uncle John?”

“No!”

“I taught you to tie your shoes, you ungrateful little…”

“Now go sit down at the table while you eat, like adults. I need to get your uncle a sippy cup.”

“Why do I come to this house?”