Observe the latest in UseTech User Technology. Each user is genetically modified to have hands precisely broad enough to make use of every key and button on your interface, whether you have an old-model keyboard or a micro-touchscreen. Their eyes are similarly genetically attuned for your lightsource, and they are given a minimum of 10,000 hours of posture training to sit an appropriate distance from the screen. The latest model User possesses independent self-updating “biological drivers,” capable of diagnosing any issue in your system, and recognizing that most of them are actually user errors. An additional 10,000 hours of training are undergone to prevent them from punching you when something goes wrong. UseTech promises a user experience so smooth, you’ll almost think the user is operating you!
dont worry about the second 10,000 hours ,I will be in prison from my outburst in hour 4 of "posture training"
ReplyDeletedid you choose 10,000 based on Malcolm Gladwell's observations?
great post
I did use Gladwell's famous claim for this. I thought it might be funny to apply it to menial training like mastering posture. Glad you enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteAn additional 10,000 hours of training are undergone to prevent them from punching you when something goes wrong <---- Our IT guy swung at me yesterday, but he missed. Not fast enough for The Danni!
ReplyDeleteAnother 40,000 hours was dedicated to removing all traces of curiosity from the user, so you can rest assured they won't try to take you apart or install Linux just to see how it works…
ReplyDeleteDanielle, I like to say "you can't spell IdioT without IT." :-P But I don't say it in their presence, so they don't take a swing.
ReplyDeleteThis user must be defective. Have thought about tossing the computer out the window many times. Maybe I need to be reprogrammed.
ReplyDeleteThe posture training is great!
ReplyDeleteBut do they offer reprogramming for next tier users (managers) who often cause the frustration levels that lead to the punching?