What Kind of Writer Are You?

1. Departing your train, you hear some people mention a “Doctorow.” You think of:
a) E.L. Doctorow, author of City of God.
b) Cory Doctorow, author of For The Win.
c) the medical profession.

2. You hear one of the same people claim that abbreviations don’t need vowels to be valid forms of communication. You:
a) wonder idly if this is about the Queen’s English Society.
b) barge in to argue that prescriptivism must die.
c) leave these people and hope you never accidentally overhear them talking again.

3. On your way off the platform you overhear another couple. One says he feels cheated when writers don’t use chapter titles. You:
a) can’t remember the last book you read that had chapter titles.
b) can’t remember the last book you read that didn’t have chapter titles, and realize you may read too much children’s fiction.
c) are amazed to find four literate people this far away from a library.

4) The man who feels cheated by lack of chapter titles pulls out his iPad to show how books should be formatted. The ladyfriend demurs; she misses feel of pages turning in her hands. You:
a) bought an e-reader ages ago. Deforestation for paper books only supports an archaic reading method, and they’re unfashionable single-use devices. Who wants a thing that only ever has Shakespeare in it?
b) haven’t bought an e-reader because of the eye strain and the power generation for its batteries doesn’t seem more environmentally friendly than paper books.
c) haven’t bought one because you can’t afford it. Okay, you can afford it, but would rather spend several hundred dollars or something else. Perhaps rent.

5) The man accuses his ladyfriend of “always being like this.” They fall into a hushed fight that’s clearly not about literature. You leave them at the stairs, still thinking about readers and writers. Are other people’s opinions like yours? Maybe you could formulate a quiz. To demarcate the choices, you’d use:
a) numbers.
b) letters.
c) you recognize that nearly all polling software only has tick boxes and requires no manual demarcation.