Bathroom Monologue: Outlandish Fiction

They always call it “outlandish.” These are “outlandish claims.” The hero’s actions are “outlandish.” The plot is “outlandish.” If you look at all vibrant things deemed outlandish, you’d really rather live in the outlands. Why live in the mainlands, where apparently everything is understandable, predictable and mundane? I want to go to the wild frontier with the ghost hunters, candy bars that are healthier than fruit, and where utopian politics actually work. “Outlandish?” What other land would you want to live in? The one where others have proven everything for you and you follow their patterns to a sale? Or wouldn't you rather go into the wild blue unfathomable, and bring something back? Yeah. Something outlandish.