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Friday, November 11, 2011

Bathroom Monologue: It’s Not Easy Being

“Easy, it never was. But easier, it can be.”

For the first time all hour, the support group goes quiet. They mull Yoda’s words. Yoda mulls his own words, standing on his folding chair. Hulk’s squeaks under him as he scratches his green stubble in contemplation. The Grinch sneers out the window, slouching towards Hooville; he’s only here on a court order. The rest see possible community. Minorities with a strength in numbers.

“You don’t understand,” says Kermit. Morally reluctant to the last. “My girlfriend isn’t just going to let me go. She’s possessive.”

A long green arm stretches out a long green hand, which in turn stretches out a long green fingernail. Its owner isn’t sitting on a folding chair; she only ever sits astride her levitating broom. They know it as certain as they know to never call her ‘Elphaba.’ The fingernail strokes under Kermit’s chin.

“We have ways of getting rid of undesirables, my pretty frog.”

The deal is sealed. Starting tomorrow it’s going to be easier being green.

22 comments:

  1. Oh at last somebody know Green is it! ^__^

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  2. I wouldn't dare stand in the way of any group that has both Yoda and the The Hulk. Let your green flag fly!

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  3. Oh my, I LOVED this!!! And I love Elphaba. She gets such a rotten deal in Oz.

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  4. Oh man. Ms. Piggy is screwed.

    That was one hell of a gathering :)

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  5. This is brilliant, John! As a child I had a recording (record) of Kermit singing that song. I love the crew you assembled for this support group.

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  6. Colorful! Perhaps Elphaba can help me join,

    Robin

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  7. That is one scary support group. I almost feel sorry for Ms. Piggy, but not really because she's annoying.

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  8. What a delightfully wicked little story! Loved everything about it, John.

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  9. This was awesome, John! I loved the inclusion of all the comic book characters and the court order for the Grinch. Well done. :D

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  10. It will be easy to get rid of undesirables, so long as they aren't armed with squirt guns.

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  11. I was laughing from the first line.

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  12. Win for the environmental groups. Whoops, wrong type of green. Wonder if Greedo would be a welcome participant?
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  13. “You don’t understand,” says Kermit. Morally reluctant to the last. “My girlfriend isn’t just going to let me go. She’s possessive.” <- I think Jim Henson would approve of this, sounds just like something Kermit would say ;)

    I wonder if Poison Ivy is in the group too?

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  14. Love it John, both the story and the Kermit link. I'm on their side too, I mean... I was BORN Green.

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  15. Awesome flash on being green, John, loved it!

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  16. We all have our crosses to bear. At least Kermit's load will be a little lighter.

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  17. What a creative story, and such an original idea to get all of these characters together. I loved it. I think I caught a type-o: did you mean "Hulk squeaks" instead of "Hulk's squeaks" ??? Like Chuck, I remember listening to Kermit's song as a kid, so thanks for the link, it brought back memories.

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