One notion I don't get is the effeminate gay guy. Gay men are the manliest men of all time. A straight guy can nail the most attractive woman you've ever seen. Hell, he can coerce the most attractive woman, and the smartest woman, and the most unattainable woman to jump into his bed simultaneously. But there's little manliness about that foursome. There's a 3:1 femininity ratio about that.
Meanwhile, a gay guy is consuming more man. At any given time he is giving you at least double the man for your money. He can date the laziest waif in America, and still be manlier than Don Juan because he's doing manly things. In fact, he's doing the manliest thing: men.
He is transcending manhood by way of someone else's manhood. That is a severe degree of masculinity that intimidates lesser men like me. In fact, given how gross I find naked men, the enthusiasm my gay friends have for them strikes me as decidedly bad ass. It’s no different than your ability to wrestle an alligator or fix a carburetor. I can’t do it, I won’t do it, and concede that you are the manlier man for the wrestling that phallic car-part. Gay guys are looking into the eyes of my darkest fear and seeing a turn-on. They are the best, the greatest, and last line of defense against something that I don’t want to do. That's because I'm not very manly. You could call me a girly-man.
Counter est. March 2, 2008
I love you, John Wiswell. You are my daily hero.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I have often thought about this very thing, but in terms of gay women being attracted to more feminine things. Very interesting!
ReplyDeleteI confess I've had similar thoughts, but you put them down in a much more entertaining way!
ReplyDeleteI love how your mind works, John.
ReplyDeleteJohn you reinforce your heroic status in my eyes as a writer. This is brilliant. They should give you a float in a Province Town or San francisco parade. I'm sharing this on FB.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I've had similar thoughts on occasion, but never wrote them down.
ReplyDeleteThat was great — but now you need a crowbar to pry your tongue out of your cheek!
ReplyDeleteI keep saying this is the funniest thing you've ever written but I swear this one is right up there at the top of the funny scale.
ReplyDeleteAgain, you have made me laugh Girly-man.
ReplyDeleteI've known a lot of gay men and I found them very attractive, so that makes them manly in my book.
ReplyDeleteAs always you have entertained me when I need it the most! ¸❤
Your humour is superb, John. This did make me laugh. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI would stand and applaud, but my cats would give me weird looks. Most excellent!
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