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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

True Stories of John 14: The Vampire Food Chain

I remember my seventh grade science class. I was absorbed in the unit on life forms. It was just so neat: nothing outside history had as many opportunities for stories. I filled out all homework during study hall and even doodled an imaginary food chain at the bottom of the last work sheet. It went:

Sunlight
\/
Grass
|
\/
Cow
|
\/
Human
|
\/
Vampire 

I thought I was exceedingly clever. I turned it in before the weekend, and actually hit the library to read more about biology.

The teacher returned the sheets on Tuesday. "Vampire" was crossed out. "Bacteria" was written in its place, along with a "-1." My optional food chain had lost me a point.

I think I've always liked science more than it's liked me.

3 comments:

  1. Bacteria? Oh, come on. If your humorless science teacher was going to correct your food chain, it should have been "Parasites." (Which, if you squint the right way, could include vampires.)

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  2. I would love to read a story where this optional food chain was actually the correct one! Students learning where they are in relation to their vampire overlords. That teacher clearly had little humor/imagination. I think your approach to science is brilliant.

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  3. That's because science has no sense of humor.

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