Bathroom Monologue: Corruption Vs. Incompetence

“These reformists. These ninnies! ‘I’d rather have an incompetent governor than a corrupt one.’ My God, I’d rather have an entire corrupt senate than an incompetent governor. The incompetent leader can’t do anything right no matter how much money you give him. For a corrupt senator all you’ve got to do is find out what he wants and then bribe him. Boom. End result: the legislation we want happens. They’re otherwise the same. Neither the incompetent jackass nor the corrupt jackass knows how to do his job better than you. But if you give the incompetent jackass a hundred thousand dollars for his re-election campaign? If you break some kneecaps so the environmental lobby shuts up? If you kidnap his daughter? He still can’t convince anyone else on the Green Committee to vote ‘No,’ because he’s incompetent. And then what do you do? You’ve got to kill a little girl, because she’ll talk, and who wants to do that? Incompetent people, that’s who.”