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| Hippopatmus Amphibius photo from BS Thurner Hof, http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Nilpferd_auftauchend_0505012_.jpg |
“Hippopotami are mostly
herbivores. They have been caught eating carrion and have killed enough people
that they’ve at least swallowed a few on happenstance. But their intestines
aren’t set up for breaking down meat: eating it makes them barf and go nuts.
Like, worse-than-mating-season nuts.
“If you fed a hippo nothing but meat it would die from
malnutrition, and in the mean time, go drunk-driver-except-the-driver-is-the-car
levels of nuts. Please, take this as a writing prompt.
“Now, none of this is to say that hippos won’t absolutely ruin
you. They’re territorial, cranky when horny, swim faster than you, run faster
than you, have wonky vision issues, and are enormous. Carnivores have the
reputation for murder, but a hippo will kill the heck out of you. Herbivores
can still be dicks.”
I don't like that much. They'll kill you, and then they won't even eat you afterwards. Now that's adding insult to injury.
ReplyDeleteIt is highly wasteful of them.
Delete::snort:: "a hippo will kill the heck out of you" totally got me.
ReplyDeleteAnna@Herding Cats & Burning Soup
Happy to be of service!
DeleteHi John. I was surprised to learn that hippos can run faster than us, but as they're so ginormous I shouldn't have been...
ReplyDeleteDenise
I guarantee you in a land race that a hippo will outrun you every time, Denise. All one of the times.
DeleteAnd as I understand it, Hippos and bees account for more deaths than any other animals/insects. While not anxious to become a past person due to the involvement of either I suspect that the Hippos would kill you faster.
ReplyDelete