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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: “You can kill someone with a needle?” -Lian Hearn’s Kaede in Across the Nightingale Floor


-Drive it into the throat or jugular. Surely everyone thinks of that one.

-Drive the needle through the ear canal and into the brain.

-Puncture the balloon the target is riding in and let target plummet to the earth.

-Puncture a perfectly normal balloon behind them (pending heart condition).

-Puncture inhaler and instigate anything (pending asthma).

-Dip into poison. Poke.

-Trick the target into swallowing the needle. It hardly needs to make it that far, but it passes into the bowels you could get a high-score.

-Trick the target into joining you for a lovely meal on the upper floor of the Space Needle in Seattle, Washington. Push the target off the Space Needle in Seattle, Washington.

-Affix the needle to a slender rod and shoot it at the target from a bow.

-Place the needle in an appropriately-sized blowgun and shoot it at the target.

-Throw it:

4 comments:

  1. As I was reading, that truly dreadful song '50 Ways to Leave Your Lover', wedged itself into my head. I am not grateful for the earworm, but did enjoy this post.

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  2. All great tips! Not that I'd ever...er...use any of that advice...

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  3. Can't you also insert it between vertebrae in the neck and get the job done silently and quickly?

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