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Friday, July 20, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: Missing: one short-haired cat burglar


MISSING
one short-haired cat burglar

lost little kitten, no collar
wears leather two sizes too small
may be in possession of rare coin collection

REWARD offered for coin collection
cat burglar need not be returned
photo of body acceptable

REWARD DOUBLED if she’s cut in half

warning: claws v. sharp






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23 comments:

  1. Katherine HajerJuly 20, 2012 at 12:35 AM

    That... is profoundly scary somehow.

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  2. Helen A. HowellJuly 20, 2012 at 12:51 AM

    Oh that sounds cat-astrophic! 'Somebody say fish? I haven't be fed all day! ' (Catworman quote) Meow!

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  3. Sulci CollectiveJuly 20, 2012 at 2:49 AM

    Numismatist is close to numerologist in the dictionary... And twos are wild cards in certain games... Me likey, me claim reward

    marc nash

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  4. Icy SedgwickJuly 20, 2012 at 2:54 AM

    I agree with Katherine, there's something very unsettling about this! But good all the same.

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  5. LindaJuly 20, 2012 at 6:59 AM

    It's the reward doubled if cut in half that freaks me out. Peace...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Adam BJuly 20, 2012 at 9:42 AM

    Mmmm... leather. Yet darkness shades this tale.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  7. Chuck AllenJuly 20, 2012 at 11:33 AM

    This is a bit sinister. But then again, cats always seem sinister to me. :)

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  8. Tony NolandJuly 20, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    KITTEHS!

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  9. Larry KollarJuly 20, 2012 at 1:04 PM

    Cut in half? Yeesh! This is some disturbing "lost pet" poster!

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  10. UnknownJuly 20, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    Was this story written by a dog? Great story

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  11. Danielle La PagliaJuly 20, 2012 at 3:39 PM

    I love this. Was it written by Harvey Dent? Did she steal his two-faced coins?

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  12. Steve GreenJuly 20, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    If I were that cat burglar I would be seriously thinking of returning that coin collection. :)

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  13. Craig SmithJuly 20, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    Imagine the size of her cat litter tray...

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  14. Tim VanSant WritesJuly 20, 2012 at 6:50 PM

    My dog and I enjoyed this very much.

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  15. Sonia LalJuly 20, 2012 at 6:52 PM

    That last line is seriously creepy.

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  16. liminalfictionJuly 21, 2012 at 1:02 AM

    Very creepy indeed, I had to read it 3 times. Why the deuce?

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    Replies
    1. John WiswellJuly 21, 2012 at 1:26 AM

      The last in a sequence of references to who is actually talking and who is being talked about. I feel like it'd be wrong to say more right now, unless further commenters demand it...

      Delete
  17. Deanna SchrayerJuly 21, 2012 at 8:42 AM

    I agree with most everyone else - this is disturbing somehow, but in a good way of course.

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  18. Karen from MentorJuly 21, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    I think the poster should specify horizontally or lengthwise for the split. Leather two sizes too small? She's probably cranky too.

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  19. Cat RussellJuly 21, 2012 at 6:38 PM

    Creepy kitty flash. Now my day is complete. ;)

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  20. Cindy VaskovaJuly 21, 2012 at 8:19 PM

    I've graced my pet with some disturbing drabbles but you sir top them all! I keep wondering who is the owner of this rare coin collection and why did "Puss in boots" go loco?
    And the deuce photo in the end...methinks the story behind this poster is way bigger.

    I liked it John. Triggered my investigative sensors :)

    ReplyDelete