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Saturday, May 25, 2013

Bathroom Monologue: Thinking over what to say when Mom says she wants to date again, Redux

"Date me? No? Then it sounds fine. It’s been years! And the woman next door was totally looking you over. If you go lesbian it’ll take care of any Daddy Issues I might have. I hear women are more sensitive than men anyway. Don’t have any empirical evidence of it, but it’s a rumor. You can date any woman you want, but leave the under-25’s for me. Men? Well, if he mows the lawn. And make sure he’s rich. And generous to his step-children."

6 comments:

  1. Lol. I find this completely adorable. :) I've had a few conversations with Dad about him looking into dating again. I'm not sure he's interested at the moment, but I've made a point of telling him I think it's totally cool if he does. (Not that he needs my permission. Just making sure he knows I won't be a pain about it, or anything. :)

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  2. Love the self-interest this caring child is displaying...

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  3. LOL That was cute.

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  4. I think the narrator needs to re-think this again. Erm, and also re-think their own dating life again.

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  5. Funny. Kids are always selfish when it comes to their parents - I guess that's why parent are always so eager to get grandchildren to see the cycle of selfishness completed.

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  6. Cool, potential new stepdaddy! Play that one right and you could totally score a new car or something when he tries to gain your approval.

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