I’m the first to say he’s not boyfriend material. He came on too strong, and then he backed off too fast. Plus, all these hurricanes he’s causing suggests if it does work you guys will need a lot of couples therapy.
But Helen, you don't friend-zone a weather god.
The highway’s flooded, and it’s snowing inside our apartment. The McDonald's where you two had your ironic non-date? I don’t want to know what happened in the ball pit. I just want it to stop being struck by lightning.
Look, remember the time Mark grabbed my ass at the office New Years party? He'd been hitting on me all night even though I straight-up told him I'm straight, and come midnight he's giving me a rectal exam? Remember how I reacted?
Yeah. I decked him.
But if he threw hurricanes along with his temper tantrums, baby we'd have moved to Virginia and be raising a little family of Pomeranians right now. Because you don't screw with that. At least not until our lease is up and we can get out of here.
Look. Your mom's a Reformed Episcopalian, right? Well this god is a fixer-upper too. And this is all still his fault, but just for right now, and this is the only time I’m ever going to say it… lead Thor on.
Unless you’ve got somebody else we could stick him with.
Ah those thunder gods can be a bit tricky! ;) I had to look up 'Episcopalian,' see how you educate me with your stories John ^_^
ReplyDeleteNow who would go well with a weather god...???
ReplyDeleteA wax god?
DeleteLOL Picturing Thor being waxed now.
DeleteTHOR??? Why oh why would she think of rejecting him. She has eyes, right? Hubba hubba. :D
ReplyDeleteWell, there are some qualms... http://johnwiswell.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-4-ways-marvel-really-got-thor-wrong.html
DeleteBut then again, I'm a Beta Ray Bill kind of guy.
I like the idea of sticking him onto the Mom. Would do them both good.
ReplyDeleteHaha, it's nice to know you have some devious bones in your body, Tony.
DeleteRejecting any god outright seems to be asking for trouble. Mom, or maybe one of her friends, would be the way to go. She would know how to deal.
ReplyDeleteWell, boy- there's just no good way of dealing with that. Need to find some one else to fix him up with, I guess.
ReplyDeleteHAHA this is cute--it is so you John!
ReplyDeleteI hope you're not saying I come across as a needy weather god...
DeleteI can't help thinking I'd still put up with that...
ReplyDeleteYou think you'd date that fellow?
DeleteI sense a stormy triangle coming on here.....heeheehee. Fun story John!
ReplyDeleteI'm crying I'm laughing so hard! That was fantastic!
ReplyDeleteLOL I think the argument should be "Would you rather have Thor bugging you or Loki because think of all the chaos the God of Mischief would cause."
ReplyDeleteHahaha funny. Even the comments. Maybe a freeze god would do him well. Freeze his thunderbolts in place. Wouldn't that be a sight?
ReplyDeleteAll's fair in love and war.
ReplyDelete"we'd have moved to Virginia and be raising a little family of Pomeranians right now." Ah, I love that sentence! Better than chihuahuas and far fluffier ;)
ReplyDeleteA needy weather god is a wonderful image...
ReplyDeleteThey are wonderfully casual about it :)
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done. What would happen if a weather god ate a curry though? lol.
ReplyDeleteOh, my, John, this is awesome! That is quite a temper tantrum, would hate to be the cause of it :) I'm sure Thor getting involved will help!
ReplyDeleteThis is funny. From what I've heard, the less one knows about any ball pit the better.
ReplyDeleteSo... if someone's powerful enough and they like you, just suck it up, buttercup? Can't agree with the narrator on that one.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, this makes it an excellent allegory for what's wrong with power disparities in relationships.
Nice. Better find that "somebody else," & fast.
ReplyDelete