Phase 1
Helen finally tries out for the school play. Danny and Asia hate theatre, but go to her audition anyway, and
cheer like it's a conference football game when she's cast as ___. ___ is the
role that shall never be spoke of again starting Friday. No one else wants to
play ___ because of the costume, with the straps that nobody can figure out are
supposed to stay up.
Phase 2
Helen is electric as ___ for two minutes and ten seconds,
before the straps come apart like overcooked pasta. Hundreds of people,
including, Helen's mother, her brother and the Honors Bio teacher she has a
crush on, see her topless. Her life is over.
Asia has an idea to
resurrect her. She's watching with Danny on the catwalk.
Phase 3
Running through the hallway, Helen sees a cell phone
streaming video of her impromptu topless scene. Her shame is already a Vine.
Danny snags Helen's elbow, hauls her into the empty English
classroom, and gives her his jacket. Helen sobs and begs Danny and Asia to never speak of the stupid role again. Danny
promises to, and is halfway through promising to replace the name with a blank
line if he ever sees it again, when Asia
strips off her jeans, and then down to a neon orange bra and thong that her
friends never expected she was capable of wearing. With equal fervor, she begs
Helen to go streaking with her.
"We have to own this before it owns you," she
explains, casing the hallway for adults who might impede seizing the day.
Phase 4
Helen is mocked ceaselessly, on Facebook, the street, and in
every glance she gets in school. Asia's plan
failed and now the two of them are a school meme - Thesbians.
She keeps taking bathroom breaks from class to cry, and
Danny refuses to let her go alone, and so is eventually sent to Detention for
going into the Girls' bathroom. He becomes part of the meme before his sentence
is served, and Asia and Helen wait up for him
afterward to break the news. Asia mocks him
for being the biggest Thesbian of all until Helen smiles and agrees to pizza.
Phase 5
Asia is asleep, half on top of the pizza boxes and half
beneath the futon, even though she's the one who asked to watch Pacific Rim for a second time in one night. Helen is on
her way to sleep, dozing off against Danny's bony right arm as giant robots defend
the world. She means to ask what he thought of Asia's
dumb streaking plan, and then sees down the back of his khakis and realizes he
isn't wearing underwear.
Drowsy, she makes a joke about it.
Counter est. March 2, 2008
Ouch. The need to belong, to be accepted, to be affirmed has some scary ramifications. At least there are three Thesbians, and over time more will come.
ReplyDeleteFear of and against affirmation defined more of my school time than I'd like to remember.
Deletemeh drama queens. The actress wants to put herself out there in the public gaze anyway. What if the director had asked her to play a nude scene? A similar dynamic to authors who put their work out to be read and then complain when a critical review comes in. Still, you tackled it with a disarming humour so I almost felt a smidgeon of pit for them.
ReplyDeleteMy exposure is only to a few U.S. high schools, but I believe a directing asking a student to play a nude scene would get him/her fired. Which would cause its own phases.
DeleteOh my, how things do snowball. I'm pretty sure the original costume mishap could have been ridden out though.
ReplyDeleteThat certainly snowballed out of control. Looks like they have a handle on it now though.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Marc on "drama queens." Amusing in that it wasn't all that tragic, mostly from the actor's inner perspective of her outside self.
ReplyDeleteYour anti-heroine's dilemma reminded me instantly of that of a British TV chat show presenter, Judy Finnigan, who suffered a classic 'wardrobe malfunction' at a National Television Awards event in 2000, exposing some of her underwear.. She's never quite lived it down. But as ever, John, you've exposed much with artful brevity, emphasising that to appear in public is to bare all. BTW, I love 'thesbian' - more than a thespian wanting to play Thisbe, I wondered? Then I found the answer in the Urban Dictionary beginning thus: "A woman who isn't really a Lesbian but is just acting gay ...." I'm sharing this one on Facebook. If you're celebrating Easter, have a good weekend. - Natalie.
ReplyDeleteUrban Dictionary is an ever-increasingly useful resource. It says something about the age groups of people I've been talking to that I didn't need to look that one up for research, though...
DeleteThank you for sharing, it too! Very glad the piece resonated so much.
When they take a breath, it'll all blow over, and they'll be stronger for it. Especially since they have each other. And if it doesn't blow over? No big deal. They have each other.
ReplyDeleteLiving in phases is very handy!
DeleteLovely, and exactly the kind of tragedy inside jokes are born from.
ReplyDeleteAll for one and one for all! I applud their unity. But I think it would have dies down faster if they hadn't gone streaking.
ReplyDeleteThis weirdly... aside from the going-viral-on-the-internet-and-being-shunned-for-it part... speaks to me enormously about my high school experience.
ReplyDeleteI so love your writing, sir.
Thesbians. Hahaha. Good one. Fun Friday Flash. Let me know if you would like me to beta read. I'd be up for it. Shell0flower at g mail.
ReplyDeleteOwn it, make the best of it, and move on. That's how you work through some tragedies. But don't forget about sleep. It's amazing what a night of sleep will do the tragedies that shake our world. Proud of Helen for making it part of them.
ReplyDeletePoor kids. I felt sorry for them, but I have a feeling they will all laugh about this one day.
ReplyDeleteI have never understood that aspect of our culture -- the part that puts people in flimsy garments that are liable to "come apart like overcooked pasta" (that sentence paid the price of admission and then some for the entire piece! loved it), yet when said flimsy garments do what flimsy garments do, somehow it's to the shame of the person who was gulled into wearing them in the first place.
ReplyDeleteEither seeing people nekkid is okay, or it isn't. If it isn't, they should be able to wear something more sturdy and comfortable. If it is, then it's no big deal.
Great take on the vagaries of both fashion and high school drama -- both in and out of the drama society.
Kids have always been cruel but I imagine they're even worse now they can share that cruelty with a wider audience.
ReplyDeleteSounds like she has some good friends, so she should just enjoy that and not give a crap about what anyone else thinks .
ReplyDeleteGood stuff. Adorkable, and reminiscent of my own high school years :) (Thankfully, pre-Internet).
ReplyDeleteI am frequently grateful that no such thing as social media existed when I was in high school.
ReplyDelete