John Wiswell on the Web

I never expected to solve more crime as a reporter than as a bulletproof icon. Yet Simon Magus is responsible for more crime in this ci...

"If it’s really a second coming, he’ll need a bulletproof hummer. That’s my gift: the gift of not getting martyred again by some asshol...

It’s a different way to power a frontier city. There’s zero pollution, minimal clean-up, and statistically fewer people die from the hydra-e...

"Hello, this is Missouri Byrne. I’m staying with the Hopscot Family Refuge, which I’m learning has been without heat for two weeks beca...

DeMarcus has always possessed an alarming tolerance to alcohol and pain killers, which is why he dropped out of college. It's als...

"Your religion needs an update, Father. This crucifix. Yes, it's a cross, and the image of Christ suffering for mortal sins, but t...

Name: Nigel Poshington Character portrait: "I'm not consenting to this photograph, I'll sue you if it shows up on the web....

"It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. You're not even a nice person – you're nice relative to other social climbe...

TV series cancelled because a DC main character smiled. So yesterday I posted the synopsis for a Wonder Woman movie that I tried to w...

"My partner and I began our careers with a plan destined for failure. We would hire the worst playwright, to write about the most ...

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She conceived what can only be considered an implausible number of children for a woman who ...

Anton sits on his knees before the grave of Anton. For a while, Emil and Yulia's son holds Anton's left hand and does his impression...

"This is a bathtub-in-the-kitchen apartment. The four of us share a fold-out bed, tucked underneath cheap sofa cushions, and when...

Skepticism kills jobs. The encroachment of science, obliterating hunger and HIV, left people with no wonder for a man levitating on stage. ...

Approach him with your eyes affixed to someone or something else nearby, then fake tripping and spill your Merlot on him. Off...

“Yes, this is about a credit card you’ve flagged as stolen because of purchases out of state. When your company moved to flag my card, did ...

"Benjamin Franklin is quoted saying that a single today is worth two tomorrows. Now the board of directors defrauded me of thirty-...

It goes like this. The plumber wants the coins. He doesn’t know why, but he’ll scarcely ever turn back in his furious pursuit...

“Madame, I will be the first suitor today to speak honestly with you. I wish only to marry you for your money. Now, every man who’s com...