Bathroom Monologue: Goodbye-Sexuals

In the future there will be heterosexuals, homosexuals, and finally the asexuals. Straights, gays and nays. People will never even have to go outside to find a date. It will be harder to win civil unions for a man and his right hand, but once enough nays raise stable children, they'll make it. It's not like they'll be the first to have single-parent households after all. And nays will the lowest divorce rate of any sexuality, though accompanied by the highest bifurcation rate. They'll be the fastest growing minority in Mexifornia, too, because they won't only multiply by conversion, and they won’t marry other races. Their kids will be just like mom (or dad). Except they'll like newer, dumber music and dress like complete idiots until their twenties. Some will try to rebel. Go straight. Or gay. But they'll come back. It'll be in their genes. We know, because there'll be nothing else in them.