Bathroom Monologue: Why do the news channels have tickers?

...hophiles Rights Bill passes through Senate with overwhelming majority - 3 Afghani civilians, 2 Swiss tourists claim they saw an angel at a strip club, Pope skeptical - Gravity, inertia disproved. "It was so obvious," say Cambridge scientists - Secretary General says Lincoln Logs (TM) may be poisonous - Orange County Track and Field Team accused of wearing lifts - Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson reveal they were men all along - 3 Afghani civilians, 2 Swiss tourists claim Pope “was there, too,” have photos to back up claim - Lime JELL-O may reduce risk of colon cancer, new report claims - America declares war on rest of wo...