“Mowing the Lawn” Monologue

Karma is Communist, not Capitalist. Christianity is Capitalist, which explains why Europe and North America exploited the world economy so well. In Christianity you get the Heaven you want if you earn it – you’ve got to do good works, think good thoughts, and most of all, save. Those are your assets in this economy.

Karma does not work that way. It is not designed to give you what you want; it gives you what the system has. What you get in return for good work is positive, like a tractor or a leggy blonde. Unfortunately the gift isn't always useful for your particular circumstance. So Communist Karma may yield a tractor to an accountant rather than to a farmer. You cannot alter or direct Karma with prayer; the only thing prayer ever got anyone in Communism is shot. You can hope, though, that you get the leggy blonde instead of the tractor. According my bi-curious Buddhist buddies, the leggy blonde is a universal positive.