Bathroom Monologue: “Which has more alcohol, a glass of red wine, a bottle of beer, or a shot of scotch?” –An interviewer in Debra Ginsberg’s Waiting

Chambers wrinkled his nose and leaned into the interviewer.

"The bottle of beer. Technically the three have the same alcohol content, but if the beer comes in a bottle then I can't stiff you like I can pouring wine or scotch. If you're asking recreationally, I recommend wine if you're in a good mood, beer if you're in a bad mood, and scotch if you've got nothing better to do. Since there's more alcohol per liquid ounce in scotch, (which most of your applicants trip over because they're nervous rather than ignorant), it gets you drunk the fastest." Chambers rose, winked and patted her on the shoulder. "Call and tell me my hours when you stop quivering."